I woke suddenly with the feeling that if I didnt get up right now and run, if I didn't get out, then I was going to die. The fear sunk so deep, so intensily that although I wanted desperatly to follow the urge to run, I was frozen in complete terror. There I was, frozen, without taking a single breath, panicing at a dilemma, with no reasoning as to why I was so frightened. When My lungs burned from lack of air the natural breath or die reflex kicked in and I began to cough and choke. I fought through the wave of breathing too quickly and recovering by coughing till my sides hurt. Once my breathing slowed the fear lessened. However, going back to sleep was out of the question.
I walked out of my bedroom, down the hall, at the top of the stairs I paused and looked around. The hair on the back of my neck began to stand up and the urge to run came back. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and at the bottom I felt my shins hit something, as if someone had pulled a rope to trip me. I fell to the floor, again I fought the fear, wanting to move but unable to. I couldnt understand what was happening. Was I still asleep?
After a few minutes, I got up and although I didnt want to I slowly forced myself to look behind me. I figured if I hadnt been murdered by that point, the likley hood of someone standing there was slim. When I looked and saw nothing, I got up slowly. I didn't really hurt anything but my knee, I was sure I would have a nice bruise by sunlight. Maybe I was clumsy because I wasn't fully awake, obviously i had some sort of nightmare. That had to be what happened. I woke startled and it just took a few minutes to fully wake up and I tripped in my haste
to get down the stairs. That made perfect sense. So I got up and went to the kitchen for a drink of water. I flipped the switch and looked at my knee. I added an ibuprofen to my water break and went back up to my room. I would just turn the TV on and watch it until I fell back asleep. I could watch an infomercial, those were boring enough to induce a coma, so maybe there was hope for a mediocre nights sleep.
My alarm sounded and I woke up with a start. The TV was still on, I laid for a few minutes listening, I was going to be awake this time. After my usual three mile run around Oneida lake, the only home I have ever really known, I felt a little calmer. The spring air was warm enough so I decided to eat my breakfast on the back deck. I was privileged enough to watch a family of ducks come into the small cove that was attached to my piece off, Damien's Point. I smiled as I ate my very plain diet oatmeal with blueberries. I wasn't over weight, but I made a promise to myself that I would eat healthy for one year and see if it benefited my life in any way. Thats the sort of person I am, I don't buy into what others recommend or suggest...I like to research the information and create my own sort of experiments. If it works, I will stick to it, if not, I move on. I suppose it keeps my very solitary life interesting. I never had much family, and the family I do have is either in another state, with new families and lives of their own, or their buried in the same cemetery that all of us end up in that are born here. No matter how hard you try to escape, this is always the first and the final resting place.
Oneida lake has a way of pulling you in to its beauty so that nothing seems quite right without it close by. Its the only lake in the state of New York that turns itself over, which basically means is cleans itself out every year. It is abnormally shallow so that little toddlers can swim by the shore and if you go out a ways you can swim in deep water. You can sail it all summer long, in any boat you want and you will always see something new. People come to this lake in the summer, either on the famous sylvan beach or on the camps that line all its shores. Families gather here and make memories, they connect to the lake and it becomes the center of who we are, and we have a strong bond because of the lake.
I enjoy sitting out and seeing the joy it brings, but I am not naive to the fact that this lake is also dark and twisted and it has claimed many lives. In fact its expected to take at least one life a year, at least that is the average since as far back as I can remember. Many people underestimate the power of this lake, and because of it they loose their lives. As a local, I know the rules, if its choppy, you better make it home and you don't want to get caught in a storm. Mind the shallow parts so you don't tare a hole in the boat. In some parts of the lake you have to go around entire islands to get to another part of the lake because its so shallow. In one area you can literally walk across from Damien Island to the next island, sea gull Island. In some places you can split off and go down rivers or creeks. Its an explorers dream and a fishermen's paradise. But it is also the biggest cemetery you could ever be in. And its secretes could make your head spin.
I own a ranch style home with a large deck right on the shore of the lake. I made it to look like a log cabin. It seemed to complement the lake. My deck is two leveled and facing the lake head on. For lake front property, I have a fairy large yard. So I added a few things over the years, like my indoor greenhouse. I wanted to have my own fresh vegetables all winter long, plus it gets very lonely in the winters around here. Many properties line this lake, about half are all year rounders. The upstate New York winters are brutal on the lake. You cant imagine the amount of snow we get out here. Its not uncommon to be snowed in a few days at least once or twice during the winter, and the chilly sharp wind is like a slap in the face, every time you step outside. But I made sure I had a large fireplace in my living room and my bedroom, I also installed heated flooring, and I still have to keep my heat on 75. Its not for everyone, but for a loner like me, I benefit from the long winter.
Along with my green house I built a barn, which is basically my little factory. I make my own soaps and lotions, candles and pottery, I make some clothing and bedding, doll houses and toys. Its a mix match of artistic studios to keep my hands busy in my boredom. During the summer I have a stand at the farmers market in Syracuse, and in the winter I rent an Ikeia in the mall. I make a pretty good living, I don't have any employees so I profit more than most small businesses. This life probably wouldn't work for anyone with a family, but as I said, I don't have that issue.
I spend a lot of time in the barn so I made sure I had large windows to still be able to look out on the lake. even in the brutal winter its breathtakingly beautiful. I also have two large fireplaces in the barn so I feel like I am at a camp and not just my home. The small amount of friends that I have made over my twenty seven years, like to come out and spend the night. We have some pretty wild parties on this lake. Not that anyone would know. There is one golden rule around these parts, everyone minds their own business. No one steals or breaks in. No one is rude or unfriendly, not to a local. We are all here for the same reason. However, we all feel the same about the summer visitors, they drive us crazy. But we put up with it because that is how our little town stays afloat. Without the summer business, I would have to drive a lot further to get supplies. I'm happy that its only about ten minutes up the road. Our town consists of one main road with all the businesses on it. We don't have a hospital very close, but we do still have ambulances and you can make it there in about twenty minutes to a half hour by car. Its far enough from the fuss and muss of Syracuse, its too remote to be considered the suburbs, not country enough to be considered the sticks...its just, the lake. And it's perfect for me. I grew up three streets over from the house I currently own, but my view is way better. I will most likely live here until I die. I cant picture anywhere else that could feel like home to me.
People view me as the eccentric loner. They think I'm some kind of witch lady in here doing witch craft because I make soaps and perfumes and crafts. Its funny, I thought witches did magic stuff. I don't mind that they stare at me, or they are always overly pleasant because they think if they make me mad im going to put some hew-do spell on them. I have never been mean with anyone so I don't really get their fear of me. But I cant denigh that I hide behind their little beliefs. It just makes it easier to avoid people. Its not that I don't like people, I'm just not very good at small talk. I can get along with any one really, and I can make friends. I just happen to be very picky. There are many things that are strange about me, I never really fit in anywhere. But it is fine with me, I view being different the highest of compliments. I may live a boring life, but to others, I am certainly not boring. I wonder what they will say about me when I am gone. I wonder if they would be disappointed to find out that im a methodist. I don't exactly go to church but I believe in god and when in need I look at the bible. Just like anything else, I like to pick what I feel my belief is and not really stick to what they want me to do. That was why after 18, I stopped going. its not for me.
As I work on my electrical wiring of the doll house I built, I couldn't stop thinking about last night. What had I dreamt that caused me to wake up in a panic. It never happened to me before. It just sat in the back of my mind like a Nat flying around your plate when your trying to eat. It bothered me so much that I decided to take a break and Google what happened to me to see what came up. It of course didn't help. I got everything from an alien abduction, to ghosts, to a stroke. All of which I didn't think was the case. After a hour I gave up the search and chalked it up to a fluke. Whatever it was, I hoped it never happened again. It was strange though. I didn't feel the large bruise on my knee. It looked like it should hurt, like maybe even cause a little limp. But I didn't feel a thing. I decided to just be grateful instead of questioning it. But no matter what explanation I gave myself...something just felt off. and I couldn't place why.
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