Do you remember that time in your life, on the cusp of adulthood and freedom. When you spent your days in school and the evenings working some job serving burgers or hanging out with your best friends. Maybe, getting into a little trouble, pushing the limits and defining who you are and who you want to be in the future. When love was so intense you just knew it was going to last forever, and you dreamed of being some big head honcho in a big house on easy street. Everything was on the up and up. Everything was yours for the taking.
There was a time where I envied that, that time had come and passed for me. But, now that I am a little older, im realizing that although that was where your life was supposed to begin, it is not the end all be all glory of your life. I am not middle aged according to my medical chart, if you want to count 31 as middle aged, and I don't. This is the time when all that hard work you did in those glory days paid off. But that is not at all the reality of what your thirties are. In fact it is very similar to my 18 year old self. What do I want to do with the rest of my life, do I want to have my own family, do I want to buy a house, am I going to be a career women or a family women. I am just at another cusp of my life it seems.
Then I got to thinking, perhaps one day down the road I will be at another cusp of my life, where I am then going to have to decide what I want to do with the final years of my life. I am finding that all life really is are phases of time and decisions, moments of hellos and goodbyes, one door closing and another opening. SO, is any decision an end all be all if eventually it will all change again? I don't think so. It just seems that way. As humans we have a natural ability to make life bigger than its meant, therefore creating this big mystery about life. When its simple really. You make a choice, you ride that choice out, you learn, you create experience and memory's, emotions and lesions. You may procreate, you may not, but the fate of our species does not rely on one womb. Every one has the same speed bumps, even though we travel different roads. Once you stop believing that life is this gigantic mystery puzzle that you have to solve, the more clearer things become, and the more simply you can live your life.
What ever phase of your life that you are in now. If you want to make a clear decision on what you should do. Then I would only project up to twenty years at a time. Because by then you will be reaching a new phase and new choices will come. If you stop focusing on the whole of your life and concentrate on segments of it, then there wont be as much stress or fuss when shit starts to hit the fan. This to shall pass. And it will pass, as it is destined to. All you have to do in life is make sure every choice you make is the one you want the most for your life. You have to live it, therefore you must be the one to decide without influence from the outside world. If they can not except your choices then they do not except your life and are not meant to be in them. The ones who are will always be there.
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