I stand in the corner of the room while Ben's son Henry and his daughter in law Nancy stand on one side of the bed quietly crying, on the other is his daughter Claire and son in law Jack. They are seeing him for the first time in a few months, just arriving from their drive from Richmond. His two grand children stood my his head, hugging each other. All looking down at the man they loved so much. There was no longer any beeping of the machines, there was no more cords and Iv's. Just Ben, looking as if he was in a peaceful sleep. I knew he was trying very hard to sit up and tell them everything he longed to say. One by one they all took turns kissing his face and whispering their goodbyes in his ears, pledging their love and devotion. And struggling to contain their own grief as they try to grasp how their lives will go on without this great man in it. He had a beautiful family, he was very loved. He was lucky to have this. There were many who took their last breaths alone, many saw only me to greet them. Ben was a man who was too great to die alone.
I knew that it would only be a matter of minutes until he went. He would wait for all of them to leave. He wouldn't want them to witness that and remember only his death and not his life. He would go when he was ready, and I would be ready for him. I would sit and wait for as long as he needed me to wait. I watched the family clear out and go speak to the nurses. They wanted to be notified if he passed during the night. As they were hitting the elevator button, Ben took his last breath. I walked over to the bed. Waiting for his soul to come forward from his body. When I see a young face come forward and lift of the one of the elderly version, I know he has finally passed.
" Hello Ben, Im Able. Do not be afraid, Im here to guide you."
Ben sits up slowly un aware that only his soul rises and his body is still on the bed. He carefully puts his feet on the floor and stands up. No aches, no weakness. He tests it and gives a little bounce.
"Nothing hurts. I feel like I could run forever and never stop. I feel like I could lift up a whole mountain by myself."
I smile at him. "You will never feel any pain ever again, nor will you age from this form, Ben."
It is then that he notices his self laying on the bed, then touches his heart, looking down at his hands and his arms. He touches his face.
"I'm...I'M...."
I enjoy his childlike response and smile as he tries to process. "Your young again? Yes, you are."
He looks at me in wonder. " Am I dead now?"
I nod. Seeing the reality hit home in his face. "Yes, I know you were expecting to see your wife here and not me."
He stops and his arms fall to his sides. His shoulders slightly slump. " Where is she?"
I know that this is very confusing at first so I sit on the window sill before I begin speaking. Giving him time to let everything sink in.
"Im here to bring you to the commander. But you can not go to judgment until you are ready to go. And you are not. So, I was sent here to help you find your way to judgment, so you can see your wife and all your friends you lost again."
Ben looks at the body in the bed and around the room. "Who sent you to me? And how do you know im not ready now?"
I raise an eyebrow. Amused that he was trying to dig for information. " Who do you think did?"
Ben sighs "God."
I nod. " Yes, but to Angels like me, we call him the commander in chief. I am the angel of death Ben, I specialize in solders. My job is to help you figure out everything you need to figure out so that you can go to judgment. Once you go before the commander, he will decide where I take you. I know you are not ready because I know everything there is to know about you, I have been watching you, your whole life."
Ben sighs. "So, I have some unfinished business?"
I nod. " Yes. Does that scare you?"
Ben folds his arms and starts pacing. "Yes, I killed many people. I broke many commandments."
"And you do not believe you would be excepted into heaven because of it?"
Ben looks and him and nods. "yes."
I stand up and walk over to the body now laying on the bed. "Did you see the people that have been coming in all week, just to see you and pay their respects?"
Ben continues to pace. "Yeah, they truly are wonderful people."
I nod. "Exactly Ben, their wonderful people, who came here because you meant something to them. How can a bad soul have so many who love him?"
Ben looks up as the family comes back into the room sobbing and holding each other. Ben runs right over to them. "Im okay, Im right here. Look at me, I'm young again, I can run and jump and I'm really happy." As he dances around them he notices they cant see or hear him. Ben looks over at me.
"My kids, my poor kids. Both their parents gone now. Oh, don't cry. Please don't cry."
I watch as they hold each other, as ben rubs at his chest flustered that their so distraught. "There are tears now but one day Ben, they will smile again. They have their own lives and destinies to for fill. Whenever you miss them you may check in on them, after judgment of course."
"What if I go to Hell?"
I sigh, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, come on. We have much to do."
Ben looks at his family in desperation. " I cant leave them like this."
I pause in the doorway, understanding the letting go aspect was a hard notion to comprehend. " There is nothing you or anyone else can do for them Ben. Death is a part of life and its a part of their Journey. They have each other now. You have to think of yourself right now. Once we figure out what you need, the sooner you can get back to check in on them."
Ben sighs and looks them over one last time. " I will miss them very much."
I touch his shoulder lightly. "I know Ben, Im sorry. But you will see them again one day. Your not really gone, they just cant see or hear you."
"What if they need me?"
I smile at him, only a selfless person would worry about being around to help. " You will learn. Just like in life, you have to adapt to your new surroundings. You will get your bearings soon enough. Come on, I want to show you something."
Together they walk out the door. Ben looking back as his family and his life fades from his view. His life was over on earth, but in death he was just born. And my Job had just began.
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